To value what we are without the need for recognition from others

"There is another important respect in which inner and outer success are linked. We only become by doing, and some of this doing can lead to tangible achievements. To do well in any field, to win recognition and awards, one usually needs to engage in the struggle to become what one seeks to be. There are always a few exceptional people who stumble into success without really trying. But most of us need to work upon ourselves in order to become what we desire to be. This struggle must itself be worthwhile or else any feeling of success will be elusive. It is a necessary condition of visible success, but public recognition is not what makes it worthwhile. Nevertheless, if it results in outward success, that can be deeply satisfying. Partly, this is because it provides external validation or recognition of what one has become. This can be extremely important for people. Many of us do not feel that our achievements are real until they have been so validated. We would be wise to resist this feeling and learn to value what we are without the need for recognition from others. But no matter how much we try and reduce our dependence on their appreciation, most of us still find such recognition satisfying if it comes, not because it is itself the goal we strive towards, but because it is external evidence that we have become what we sought to become."